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Can a homosexual be Jewish without losing his or her identity?



Question:

I am active in a Jewish student's organization at my college. Lately, several of my fellow students are dealing with whether or not to even remain Jewish because they are homosexuals and feel very rejected by the Jewish faith.

I was wondering what exactly does the Torah say and suggest. How can a homosexual continue to be Jewish and not lose his or her identity?

Answer:

I understand your dilemma; in your desire to approach all Jews with acceptance, you are faced with the question of how to help someone who is Jewish, but not following, necessarily, in the precepts of Judaism.

First, let's talk to the issue of identity. Each one of us wears many faces; each one of us is multifaceted. And one can, no doubt, list adjective after adjective to describe either oneself or someone else. American, vegetarian, skier, intellectual, blue-eyed, tone-deaf, farmer, narcissistic, teacher, morose, healer, nimble, sympathetic, runner, generous, noble...endless, endless adjectives. Do any one of them an identity define? And if I say I'm heterosexual, is that an identity?

So the thing is this: identity is fixed. I am my parent's daughter. I am my children's mother. I am my siblings' sister. I am Jewish. These define me in absolute terms, and these have nothing to do with how I feel about it.

A Jew is a Jew is a Jew. It does not depend on feelings or desires or life-partner choices. It simply is so.

In your position as a Jewish student leader, you must make every effort to see that every single Jewish man and woman whom you encounter understands that every single one of them is entitled to a Jewish environment, to be involved in Jewish life, to be involved in the behaviors of Jews. Period.

Every Jew is entitled to Shabbat. No Jew should ever be encouraged to deny her/himself the authenticity of Shabbat—even if that particular Jewish man or woman is not Shabbat observant.

Bronya Shaffer for Chabad.org


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By Bronya Shaffer   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author

Mrs. Bronya Shaffer is a noted globetrotting lecturer on Jewish women's issues, and serves as a personal counselor and mentor for women, couples and adolescents. Mrs. Shaffer, a responder for Chabad.org’s Ask the Rabbi service, lives with her ten children in Crown Heights, Brooklyn.

All names of persons and locations or other identifying features referenced in these questions have been omitted or changed to preserve the anonymity of the questioners.


The content on this page is copyrighted by the author, publisher and/or Chabad.org, and is produced by Chabad.org. If you enjoyed this article, we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply with the copyright policy.
 

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Aug 13, 2008
Back again to the good doctor
When you use the 'cows and chickens' analogy, you imply that 'being homosexual' is like belonging to a species; that human beings are segregated into 'subspecies' of 'gay' vs. 'straight', and that this is scientifically ordained, and thus is an irrefutable fact; and thus, that the Torah's admonitions against homosexual behaviour are anachronistic and inapplicable.

This is a popular belief amongst people, including many Jews, who consider themselves to be 'progressive and secular'; but let me ask you honestly:

Is it actually true and scientifically sound; and-

do you really want to assert that the Torah and it's admonitions, and it's instructions, are anachronistic and no longer applicable?

Btw, you mention something about 'pagan ritual' in relation to the Torah's ban on homosexual behaviour (I believe it was you). Would you care to expound upon that some more?
Posted By Thomas Karp, New Haven , Ct.

Posted: Aug 13, 2008
Yes, you're the one.
Yes, I was referring to you, and sincerely hope that you did not take what I said as demeaning you; but if you felt that way, I humbly apologize; I wouldn’t hurt another person deliberately, particularly another Nutmegger.

If a cow was raised around a flock of chickens would it act like one? Not a chance; it is a cow and knows it.

Can a homosexual become a heterosexual? Nope. They are what they are and I as a heterosexual woman am very comfortable with them. I have discovered over the years, although that is not what my doctorate is in, that those people who are the most uncomfortable with gays and lesbians are the least comfortable with who THEY are and are somehow afraid that they can “catch” homosexuality. They can no more “catch” homosexuality than a cow can “catch” being a chicken.

Oh, one last word, don’t be impressed by a person’s having a doctorate. It simply means that we didn’t know when to stop studying and get a real job.
Posted By Dr. Beverly Kurtin, Hurst, TX/USA

Posted: Aug 13, 2008
To Dr. Kurtin
I'm the one who mentioned the diaspora in relation to homosexuality amongst Jews, so I gathered that your last remark is directed at me.

Who am I to debate with a presumably learned doctor as yourself?

Let me just say that the exact extent of each individual's sexuality maybe as varied as our fingerprints; and that both 'nature and nurture' may play a role in each individual in formulating sexual inclinations.

Is it possible that thousands of years of Jews living in exile, diaspora, has effected to some extent how Jews behave, and towards what behaviours some Jews maybe inclined?

I just offer that here as one consideration among many, and not as a definitive, irrefutable, fact, that should set some Jews against others.

Shalom.
Posted By Thomas Karp, New Haven, Ct.



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